The Right Fit - Choosing the right solemnizor


Opposites attract, they say, and to some extent, this statement holds true. After all, that’s what keeps the relationship interesting, right?

But this post isn’t about whether or not you and your partner are a good fit – we’re assuming that you’ve discovered that you are, since you’re now well on the way to getting wed. ;) Instead, let’s talk about that third party who’s going to be present at your wedding ceremony, right there in front of all your guests with you – your wedding solemnizor.

Like any person, your wedding solmenizor-to-be has a unique personality and style which he brings to the table. Society has many different ways of classifying the different personalities that we encounter in our daily lives, but we think the DiSC model, in particular, offers a helpful way of sussing out if your potential solemnizor is The One for you.

The DiSC model is a personality theory based on the work of Harvard psychologist Dr William Moulton Marston. According to this theory, people tend to develop a situation-specific personality style, which he classifies according to the four factors Dominant, Influential, Steady and Conscientious.

Is your Solemnizor a D?

D stands for Dominant.  People with the D style are task and results-oriented, like to challenge the status quo, state their case and take decisive action.

If your solemnizor is a D, he’ll probably begin your first meeting by laying out all that you need to know about the solemnization process and asking for your decision on various things. He’s not one who’s likely to stand for wishy-washiness or last minute change, so it would be good to discuss things with your spouse – Are you going to write your own vows?  Will the wedding be in the church? – before your meeting.

Go for it if… you’re quite happy to let someone take charge and tell you what to do. You know that he’s not going to “mess things up” or do a slipshod job. At the end of the day, you’ll be married, and that’s what matters most to you.

Avoid at all costs if… you like crafting your plans from scratch with lots of room to be inventive/unique and highly value flexibility.

Is your Solemnizor an I?

I stands for Influential.  People with the I style are enthusiastic and people-oriented.  They can be quite the life of the party! They enjoy collaborating with others as well as taking action for a worthy cause.

If your solemnizor is an I, you’ll probably be talking to him like an old friend by the end of your first meeting. For him, it’s all about building the relationship first, before tackling the task at hand. Expect some light-hearted banter and getting-to-know-you before going into the nitty-gritties of the ceremony.

Go for it if… you don’t have a tight deadline to follow, and you always enjoy a good laugh! Who says planning a wedding can’t be fun? Also, you can look forward to a speech that is more meaningful than a mere checklist of points.

Avoid at all cost if… you can’t stand small talk or tend to become easily concerned over the details – because high I’s are notoriously famous for not being the most organised of folk.

Is your Solemnizor an S?

S stands for Steady.  People with the S style tend to support those around them and are seen as sensible and relatively calm in the face of pressure.  They thrive on collaborating with others, in a stable environment.

If your solemnizor is an S, he’s likely to be an anchor of sorts for you throughout the wedding planning process, keeping the conversation on track and keeping his cool in the face of pressure and last minutes changes.

Go for it if… you need someone who can roll with the punches, and who is great at following through on his word. You know he’ll follow up on his role responsibly and diligently.

Avoid at all costs if… you’re looking for someone to take charge of the ceremony with minimal input from both of you. A high S person thrives in a team, and would rather not make the call on key decisions, if he had the choice.

Is your Solemnizor a C?

C stands for Conscientious. People with the C style strive for accuracy, and tend to be systematic and meticulous about the way they do things. Although they like a challenge, they appreciate the need for stability, and will see the task through to the end.

If your solemnizor is a C, be prepared for lots of checklists to come, and a step-by-step walk through of the ceremony details – multiple times! While high Cs can be seen as “fussy” by some, others would see their attention to detail as an asset to the wedding planning process.

Go for it if… you want someone with an eye for details, to keep you on your toes! If you yourselves struggle to keep track of plans, having a high C on your team might be just what you need to get this wedding on the road!

Avoid at all costs if… you get frustrated by people who are, in your opinion, too particular about everything. If you’ve got a tight runway to settle things, or if you generally prefer a wait-and-see approach, then a high C solemnizor might not be right for you.